Proper, unbiased review - The Grecian, Gloucester Road, Bristol

You may have seen a previous guide to this Gloucester Rd staple; bemoaning the surly staff, opening hours and substandard salad. What follows is an unbiased, open review of a standard doner kebab - with garlicsaucelettucecucumber.

The evening began well - several drinks in a local hostelry and another drink in another local. Nothing spectacular but a good solid time was had by all. I was peckish - only a kebab would suffice. I had only two options: a non-standard kebab (shish, kofte as promised in a previous post) from the Arches, or a doner from the Grecian. I entered the Arches full of hope - there was a queue however and the staff were unfamiliar to me - no perfectstubble or Young Pretender and shavedsides was too absorbed in his mobile phone to care. Disregarding those around me (awaiting lesser snacks such as pizzas), I rushed to the Grecian.

I have never been so happy with such a decision in my entire life. As I entered, a couple were tasting a small sample of the chicken kebab as if it was a high-class cheese and olive emporium. I instantly felt welcome and as if I was in a kebab boutique. The elephant leg, as always, looked juicy and rustic with their large knife poised ready to slice. I have never seen such a wonderful assortment of salad - forget the homogenous mix of vinegary mulch of before, this was a smorgasbord of carrot, lettuce, cabbage and diced (not sliced) cucumber. I ordered a small doner, this was expertly sliced and wrapped in paper - a nice touch in a road which favours polystyrene.

I hurried back to the Arches to meet my companions, clutching my kebab. I instinctively knew how incredible this would be so I daren't eat it. I cannot remember a time where food had been TOO good to eat. I nibbled at some of the meat - it was utterly delicious. I bid my farewell and snuck off home.

The kebab was amazing, quite simply. Sweet, juicy meat; a tangy thin garlic sauce with a crisp chunky salad. Look out Arches - there is a new kid in Gloucester Road town.

Visit to the Grecian Kebab House, Gloucester Road , Bristol

This is close to home, looks reasonably authentic and smells amazing so it should be a regular snack stop. For some reason, it isn't. I have pondered many times as to why this is the case - I had a passable kebab there once and the odd portion of chips and other lesser snacks - pizza for example - which were all perfectly lovely. The kebab skewer is often a grand beast: thick and juicy and an irregular shape with a coarse texture. This should elevate it above the smaller, more homogenous looking of its brethren; they even slice it with a knife instead of that vibrating shavey thing for a more rustic feel. The meat was great from what I remember, but the pitta, garlic sauce and salad were sub-par. The salad was almost the polar opposite of the meat - all chopped up and mixed in together, with a vinegary tang presumably to extend the shelflife. The sauce was heavy and think, rendering it cloying and heavy. The pitta was poor also, it did not open into a flap readily which was impossible to wrap up into a sandwich.

I however think that the key to its downfall is the staff and opening hours - I approached the shop one evening to attempt a review but the kebab skewer looked thin and well-shaved, and the gentleman at the counter looked surly and unwelcoming. Couple this with the short opening hours (we have had the door shut on us by another surly gent when attempting another review) and the fact that the Arches sells pizza + chips for £5 and the Grecian is a whopping £6, defying the unwritten agreement of lower Gloucester Road, and you are left with the overwhelming decision, come kicking out time, to venture to the Arches or Effes (review to come soon).

I am determined however to conduct a decent review of the Grecian, the good Lord himself only knows what wonderful kebabs and secrets this place holds.

Featured Elephant Leg: The Arches, Cheltenham Road , Brizzle.

This is an oft visited haunt of mine: close to home, open late and houses a delicious array of meaty treats. On first impressions this looks like, and would be, a standard kebab shop if it weren't for the efficiency, friendliness, relaxed nature, and kebab related expertise of their staff. These guys work long, hard hours - I have often seen the Young Pretender preparing the shop in the late afternoon and he will still be happily dealing with a complex meat order come 3:30 am. The vast array of staff: El Capitan, Shavedsides, Perfectstubble among others all have their own niches and jobs, but the Young Pretender will take the money, fire up the grill, shave the elephant leg, wrap up the chips, cook some onion rings all in the blink of an eye, while ensuring all my salad and sauce needs are taken care of. The first entrant to the kebablog hall of fame for sure.

There have been many memorable visits to this shop, a full review will come soon. I had had many doners and chicken kebabs from the Arches but I feel it is time to try one of their range of shish kebabs or similar, and really do their menu justice. Watch this space.

North Devon Bab

Although this blog is primarily Bristol based, for the first review it was decided to spread our wings to the wonderful quayside town of Bideford and review a doner from there. Also, we happenned to be going there anyway and I was hungry come 2am despite promising myself earlier in the evening that no salty meat would pass my lips.

The setting was a charming place called Ali's Charcoal Grill, next door to another fast food shop, but crucially it appeared to house an elephant leg and reasonably miserable staff. Upon entering the general atmosphere was subdued; none of the chaos, bickering and sizzling of a busy kebab shop which unnerved me slightly. There was no going back however. The welcome was reasonably surly - but very few could beat the enthusastic welcome of Efe's of Bristol or the efficient "whatdoyouwant" of the Arches (both to be reviewed soon - watch this space). I ordered a small doner kebab from a standard but slightly pale-looking elephant leg. No chicken option which reflects poorly on their status as a "charcoal grill" - one skewer is standard chip shop fare in 2009 so I would expect a chicken at the very least. Garlic sauce, lettuce and cucumber was selected as the condiments. I was informed there was NO CUCUMBER. None. I was taken aback but struggled on - I agreed that lettuce and garlic sauce would have to suffice.

This arrived extremely promptly, I believe at least three people were involved in its production. I paid one man who barked the order to his minions, and a toasted pitta was produced filled with flesh by a second, the lettuce and garlic sauce were added by a third and a fourth may have even passed me the sandwich. I forget.

We sat down to await burgers and other lesser snacks for our companions - these would have to wait because of the suspicious speed of arrival of my food. I was instantly impressed, the lettuce was an interesting mix of at least two types - almost a Tesco salad bag style mixture. Impressive and made up for the lack of cucumber. The garlic sauce was nice and thin, no cheap garlic mayo here, with a hint of mint. This could even be passed as fairly authentic. The meat was almost certainly pre-sliced and was chopped up into small chunks (not to mention the rapid arrival discussed earlier) and was soft and evenly lukewarm. I must admit I am partial to the long ribbons of meat and dangling them into my mouth, but this unusual style did facilitate an easy dining experience. It was soft, tender, lamby and the pitta was of good quality so could be made into a tight, solid sandwich with minimal mess.

I left fat and happy, although during the taxi home this did make way for intense queasyness. The next day no ill effects were felt, the odd stomach cramp at 6am but nothing to write home about.