Return of the Arches + Wraps

Several years back now I swore I would never eat another Arches kebab. I was dealt with at some ungodly hour so shoddily, the kebab was of such poor standard and the staff's impeccable standards had slipped so low I felt I just had to move on. It was time. On a recent Sunday however we were at a quandary. We like "proper" chippy chips with our kebabs / fish / pies and many kebab shops just do crap American fries. Not only are they thin and greasy but they tend to make the order take longer as each batch is done fresh, and you get bugger all compared to a proper chippy. Normally we just nip to a chip shop and pick some up, they tend to cluster near kebab shops which facilitates this. As we simply couldn't be arsed going out however, we had to order delivery. This reduced the options somewhat and the Arches was the only place that did the elusive combination of kebabs and chippy chips. So it was to be. We had no choice.

This was ordered online through Just Eat which has the brilliant positive of not having to talk to a human being during the entire process. I ordered a doner wrap, all the salad, garlic sauce. Chippy chips and my other half's non-kebab food was also tacked on. There was a hushed silence as we nervously waited for the order to be confirmed at their end (I believe they have a little machine and printer on the counter and someone jabs at it to agree), then we were informed of the 45 minute wait. Seems bad, but they have to make it and bring it up the road to us, it would take the same time for me to drive there, fanny about, and return with the goods. In reality it only took 30 minutes to hear an unsteady rap at the door. As I opened the door a bag was thust into my hand and the driver disappeared into the night with barely a grunt. Obviously wasn't expecting a tip, not that I would have obliged. I carefully unpacked the doner wrap, it had the weight and feel of a bag of flour. A token smattering of chips, a blob of chilli sauce and my dinner was complete. I tucked in. The meat was a touch underdone perhaps but was moist and flavoursome. Beats the dark brown crispy meat of my previous Arches kebab so anything was an improvement. The wrap itself had a cool, dense mouthfeel and elicited a satisfying chewiness which married nicely with the soft meat and crunchy (by this time, crunchy-ish) salad.

This leads me onto the elephant in the room here. Doner "wrap"?! I hear you cry. Where is the pitta? Well, I spotted this on the menu of Favourite Grill a while back but dismissed it. It was 10p cheaper so assumed it was smaller as all would be enclosed inside the wrap with no overflow. In my mind I was picturing a kebab version of a M&S wrap or something you create with an fajita kit at home. I had a wrap when on tour in Brighton which was unintentional, either a house speciality or drunkenness, which was a smaller beast, so I went for it one day when I was not over-hungry. However on opening, it was an absolute monster. It was a huge wrap and barely closed, chock full of meat and salad all perfectly blended and melded together. It seemed like a gargantuan task but it actually slipped down quite well. There was none of the faff of forking up the salad before folding the pitta round the meat, no disappointingly crispy pittas, no raw onion due to its distance from the meat and heat source. It also allows bites to be taken by dining companions without your dinner falling all over the show. I am converted, fully converted, to wraps when available.