I walked past the Arches recently, whistling as I did so with a fresh Grecian in my hand, and I peered in to check on proceedings. Perfectstubble was toiling in the rear of the counter as usual, fastidiously cleaning the floor and lending a hand with pizza preparations. The new young lead server was there again at helm, he literally doesn't look like he gives a flying shit about anything, least of all preparing an elephant leg for a night's consumption. The kebab leg behind him was fresh out of the factory by the looks of it and pale and uncooked to the point of appearing as a light grey colour (oddly, the actual colour of an elephant's leg). The most alarming thing about this was sitting atop the kebab was a coil of meat which looked like a freshly laid turd. I always assumed the kebab factories stripped and chopped cutlets and choice cuts of lamb, carefully shaping it around a skewer and lovingly packing it up for delivery. This made me wonder: do they simply blend poor quality meats of dubious origin into a paste and squeeze it into a mould?
I need to think of a name for the new young pretender, answers on a postcard.
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